Why Bearclaw is my soul mate

Bearclaw and I don't live in the same city. In fact, we live very far away from one another. This makes us sad. Everyday we talk about how we will one day be in the same city again only THIS TIME it won't be Waco, Texas. It'll be something far greater like Portland, San Francisco, or a commune in the middle of nowhere Wyoming. ALL WE GOTTA DO IS KICK THESE JOBS AND ADULT RESPONSIBILITIES AND JUST DRIVE MAN. We are both very good at staying connected and it's surprising that we haven't lost touch over the years. What good friends we are. We talk everyday on gchat and the following conversation should explain why I have a painting of her in my apartment that I momentarily turned into a memorial for the photo.

BEARCLAW: OH WAIT

LAST NIGHT

me: yes hun

BEARCLAW: {boyfriend} and i were fantasizing about you being in our lives

me: omg

1:30 PM i adore you both

BEARCLAW: and he was going on and on about how he was going to order you around in the hospital

when you're a nurse

me: aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

BEARCLAW: and order you on POOP ROUNDS

me: asdf;lkjaj;kal;jafl;

BEARCLAW: WHICH IS MADE UP

BUT

YES

POOP ROUNDS

and he would call your name on the hosptial pa system

ECLAIR

IT'S TIME FOR POOP ROUNDS

1:31 PM me: i'll go around to each patient and sit on the edge of their hospital bed, touch them gently on the shoulder, and kindly ask them how their poops are

BEARCLAW: haha

me: omg

this sounds perfect

1:32 PM BEARCLAW: good morning, mrs. clementine

how have your BMs been coming along?

you're really starting to get some color back

me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T BEEN POOPING?

BEARCLAW: oh god

call the dr.

DR. NEILANSPOOP EMERGENCYSTAT